Hey yall,
feels like forever since I been in here writing but it has only been a week ish maybe....anyway this week has been interesting for me...and I almost feel at my worst...
So I was working mandatory 12 hrs this past week, which fine no biggie but it was the first time since I had started training...not realizing the toll it would take on my body... So Monday I did my cardio, had to wake a 0345 in the morning just to get my body ready and all that stuff as normal, which fine I got rest the night before I was good felt good...got it in and then came home to report for work around 6ish.... to put icing on the cake my trainer couldnt work out for personal reasons, which made me a bit sad but I am understanding.... didnt want her there but not there.. so I kept it moving and I had my other "coach"/ standby workout partner who is awesome, former competitior her self so she was there to push me which is awesome, and I also started my cardio in the afternoon which no biggie still..I come home make meals barley half alive and then i pass out instant... this is first strike...
Next day Tuesday, same thing 0345, no big deal and then 12 hrs working, workout with my partner DJ and good to go..got my cardio in... a good day thus far.....not understanding my body was screaming "help!" as in this is freaking exhausting and I need sleep!
Wednsday.....I was so tired, at 0345 I looked at my clock and put my head back down...like no sh!t I couldnt get out of the bed my body was just like "hell to the naw, we cant do this shit..." and it goes down hill from there...still preparing my meals so no failure there...get there we gotta put on hot ass gear oh by the way I live on an island and this the month where humidity is a b!tch... so we had bout 5lbs of gear on running around... ok fine, no cardio but I sweat my ass off that day anyway... so later in the day get to going to the gym, but I wind up having to stay 2 hrs past my off time... turning into what already would be 14 hr day really I was up earlier so going on 18 hrs awake...so i drove home, made meals, at least, I was pretty consistent there...passed out again No workout...
Thursday, cant get out of bed either, literally slept until the last possible minute.. before I put my uniform and gear on ready to go again! YES!....so I get there hit the ground running, hot tired, bitchy...you name it...and because we all had been around each other by day 4 it was like get away from me.... so barley got to eat my meals in the time supposed to...and my stomach was screaming help me! so tried to do what I had to....so had a meltdown, now mind you since I been dieting my office has had cake, sweets bout every dayum week and they always feel the need to say well " well we know you can eat it..." dont remind me! So normally I shake it off....so they ordered pizzas for everybody and I was the only person "left out" so had a meltdown, went in the back cried....bout felt like I wanted to chuck my lunch dish at the dayum wall...but I restrained....and I told my friend Melanie that I wanted to "quit dieting" ....wow and all i could think was this folks pushed me so much to the point I wanted to quit??? really??? ... and she brought me back and said, you chose this life, you have a goal, you are doing it and stick with it....i wont let you quit..... and all i could think is wow.... what a friend! I really did appreciate that...and after the pep talk I got it together and kept it moving....now granted I didnt work out...just not in it..and to risk injury from exhaustion..not worth it! So go home crash again..... Strike 2
So Friday is strike 3, dayum near the finsh line for all this craziness...wake up get into work putting all the shit on again.... and finally it ends....so i was at least able to get my hair braided again which took 40 days and 40 nights it seemed but one less thing to worry about... so after they let me off early and I got my hair done...went home... now mind you my husband still deployed and supposed to get back June 8 possibly is on edge as well....and since he has zero knowledge with dieting and all that, he doesnt really understand the emotions behind all this.... so i was venting and he was already in a pissy mood since its hot as hell where he is at and he is a grown man living with another man in a small room and no power across the base...just a bad situation, so we argued, mainly because after 6 months of being gone, and we have no kids so only thing we do is talk about how much we miss each other and how life sucks more because we are not together etc.. etc... so bit his head off , hung up on him...he called me back...I cried again, because I missed him and because shit just didnt go right, i felt horrible because I didnt train but when it rains it pours you know???
Saturday Posing Practice with my coach, head was kind of in it...I just wanted sleep but I value time I get with her so I got up went there...and she told me just rest and start fresh next week... and she admitted to having a bad week too which Im naive so I was thinking after you become Pro you dont have any issues right...yea ok... but it made me think....this woman does so many things for others..even when she is ready to knock somebody the hell out and sometimes she has bad weeks and just keeps going... life goes on...
So here I am Sunday...in Okinawa Japan, Sat for other folks....I woke up today did my cardio....woohoo! felt so good, felt like a long time coming and I plan on hitting the weights solo...which I dont mind, my coaches have taught me self motivation and digging deep which after this week should be no issue..
Sorry to ramble but I guess I feel close to yall and wanted to share....but I did learn from this experience, with every new start or goal whatever is "growing pains". You dont learn the poses overnight, training, patience, dieting.... its a balance and I am sure alot of the pro's or more experienced can say they still have their good days and bad days.....the key is to take it with grain of salt and not take steps back in your progress...only continue to move forward...I am pretty sure when this happens again and I say when because there will be bad days and good days and I will let yall know! In the mean time.... today I did my training cleaning eating...lots of relaxation and just chilling...
Good news is that my trainer should be back in the seat tommorow which I want to pick her up and hug her...when i see her... and that my birthday is on saturday and I am taking a trip to Guam and Korea for some shopping holla!!! much needed vacay...and of course i will train there as well...no slacking off you know! but with the bad comes good right!
Anyway think thats good for today, thank yall for listening!
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