Ok lets start this again.....

So had a little pity party today, and my trainer Anne basically told me snap the hell out of it and lets keep moving soooo... Progress Pics! as promised here yall go....will get some better ones bear with me but this is the best i could do for comparisons, i notice people respond better or I guess get the better visual for this....anddd I also got the pics for the flyyyy shoes and fit i got in Guam, so not so bad..so far so good...

12 lbs down, 8 weeks out.... gotta keep the train moving..hubby gets back in 10 days... and I am feeling the best in my life even though earlier i wanted to choke somebody.... anyway checckk it out... and thanks for reading... :)

and no this isnt my suit it is a victoria secret swimsuit although fuschia doesnt look too bad on me right.... we shall see!

then...

annddd here is the fabulous shoes...

Phewwww... Business as usual

So weighed myself and still at 138... And I had egg whites this morning with cream of wheat... It tasted soo good...got the rest of this week off to recoopersre and get back to business as usual with my trainees and see if I can drop more weight... We shall see...do some legs this morning and run some errands, check mail do a bit of this and that....it's pretty nasty outside so will be a lazy day after I kill my legs today...got some progress pics coming soon later today soon as I get on my desktop.....

Just for the record...

I really hate flying I have seen too many movies and I get paranoid and sick as shyt taking off, landing, turbulence, I'm a damn schizo... Just got home.... Freakin beat but in case y'all was worried im here.... And my husband just gave me firm date of his return 11 June 2045 .... Too tired to be excited but I'm doing backflips in my mind... Anyway I'm supposed to weigh my self tommorow scared as shit I guess y'all will hear about vacation repercussions when u decided to fall off the wagon yikes .. Keep y'all posted!

Paradise my ass.....

Ok I'm still in Guam I leave tommorow thank goodness! It has been a blast but the weather is Extremely unpredictable just like Okinawa it almost feels like I never left keyword almost... Right now I am sitting here watching a rain cloud out of thin air position itself over the hotel and I am a bit upset because I want to go to the beach but mother nature is fighting me on this very frustrating.... Although I will say this the locals of Guam are so welcoming and family oriented since I been here I have been treated very well and lots of connections have been made to complete strangers without motive and it was nice granted I'm from the city so I'm still on my guard but it's very refreshin.... Went to the galleria yesterday where the Huge labels Chanel Dior Coach etc are in one area.... I held a $3,000 Dior purse in my hand yesterday and all i could think is wow someone is going to buy this today obviously not me ... I got a coach purse on sale with a wallet bout $200 most anyone will get out of me for a purse but cats were buying like crazy mainly tourists... Oh well I made sure my face said nothing about being made of money so I wouldn't get my feelings hurt by prices... The ladies in the coach store were nice tho... Other than that walked around do my last bit of sight seeing today and maybe some tommorow .. Mail some boxes to myself call it good.. I am refreshed tho, miss my trainers and just being in my actual gym .... Here isn't bad but they have the cardio and weights all in one room no separation feels weird... Gonna work on chest today and buy some weightlifting shoes I saw at the base exchange... I took some progress pics hard to get good one when it's just you but I will see if some one can do it for me today...husbands return got pushed back so that blows... All in all a good trip got to watch cable but I couldnt sleep in woke up at 6 am bout everyday dayum military .... I have a direct flight tommorow which should be awesome we shall see.. Today is a chest day for me then some cardio and sight seeing more .... Hope it doesn't rain...

Well...... Guam is small

So still here in Guam and reaching the point of maximizing the experience and just wanna get back to Okinawa .. Yea I said it! Well because A I miss my dog and B my hubby is going to be back on the 8th so far so good! It's been unpredictable weather past few days with 30mins of sun and 10 mins rain alternating impossible to get a tan when I'm constantly having to get my umbrella... Anyway went to nine west again! Another 2 pairs of shoes and 2 purses shit! I know I know ... Just went to see the sale which buy one get one 50% a rare opportunity ...oh well if u are a shoe addict you get it! Anyway worked out today and I wish somebody had told my ass to stay in and run treadmill but no I went outside.... It was cool at first then it got blazing real quick.... And I had on Black Spandex Pants! Wow yes I am a dayum fool but still got my work out in running the bleachers with sprints... And because I didn't drive there had to stand under a tree every few feet to get cool.... People looked at me like this fool... Anyway went to the gym later on and worked my back and abs with cardio.... It's amazing how people stare and Stare and STARE and yep still staring! I am a woman in the gym, with more muscle then some of y'all ... Do what u came to do and I will do me... I dunno just be in the zone and sometimes I just wanna walk up to cats and ask them if they are enjoying the view.... I do admit tho it's hard to not be insecure I mean I look good but now I'm the lady with muscles that looks like she would break ur dayum neck... True and true but not used to it yet I guess I prefer straightforward folks but then we dont always like what we hear so better be prepared for criticism....anyway been posing crazy got a full length mirror in here so ever chance I get I'm doing it... Going thru it in my head... I want to do some different things to show my definition granted I'm still In fat burning phase and I been eating cleanish somewhat so im holding water.... Doing what I can soon as I get home to my foreman and Pyrex containers I will be back on track until then chilling I guess but dayum cabin fever and it's expensive here andddd driving across town sucks... Tommorow will hit the galleria and the underwater museum if weather and crowds permit a zillion tourists out here..can't wait to get back .I am more excited to see my husband it just is unreal that two weeks well 10 days we will be together.... Again

At 27.....

So today is my birthday and I'm up early because of my body clock and it's time to eat.... My stomach does not like th past two days matter of fact it woke me this morning screaming how hungry it is and I have been depriving myself due to my eating habits since I been here it is what it is, anyway Lots of reflection to be done today not meditating just reflecting... Significant changes made within the last two months, past year even regardless it is change, since a year ago from today I have lived with my husband for the first time in our marriage and went thru our rough patch but we recovered, of course by the time we got right he deployed in Dec. Since January of this year I have been solo. I made some goals which was to take a class towards my bachelors degree.. Win an award, volunteer more, Get promoted. Save money, and get out of debt. I have completed 3 of the 6 (save money,class, and volunteer more)and possibly 4 (get promoted) won't kno until June. About march time frame I had a coworker approach me and told me how I looked appearance wise a little overweight not in a rude way it was private and personal. At the time I made excellent score of 93/100 and 96/100 on my fitness tests the past few years however my appearance still didn't match me personally now I admit when my co worker told me this I had a heart attack I melted down and I felt like a piece of shit... But in the back of my mind always been insecur about my body and I had a pooch very obvious to me and I figured as long as I walked around like I was the shit I wouldn't have an issue. Well in the air force it is becoming about appearance being "fit to fight" and how can I defend my country and not look the part...it's politics and an oxymoron like having a overweight personal trainer or a stylist with terrible hair it just doesn't work... At that time I decided to make a change. I always been a fan of fitness but used every excuse to not do it.... Not the cool thing to do nowadays but I had to stop drinking and at the time I smoked cigarettes as well. So I cut those things out not easy considering I'm in Japan with lots of rice sushi and sake I love it all and with stress came smoking.... So about 6 weeks I went into a workout I found on body building .com by Felicia Romero and begin to try it however the eating part didn't work had no educating on the body or dieting I just went with it... No weight loss of course then I went back to 17 day diet which I been on a d off and it is a complete fluke but it does provide good examples of tricking the body however it wasn't conspire.t training it wasn't a person who cared about my well being and knew inside and out what the human body does.... So did some research trying to find a personal trainer since I just couldn't take it anymore I wanted to change in a major way and I wasn't getting what I wanted....so looked online saw two personal trainers on Island dealing with body building competing and stuff on base ,,,Shelly and Zoa. I did t know if I wanted to compete at the time I just know I needed someone quick so I emailed both and waited for response guess who got back to me? Zoa Linsey now at the time I always heard her referred to as the "muscular lady" or the blonde lady at the gym... Everyone on Okinawa knew this woman it seemed and I seen her a lot since me and hubby worked out at Tori by my place. I always admired her from a distance but too scared to approach..... So Zoa replied we talked about meeting and all that which, My life change well the major one began....so we discussed the plan and began to kick in to gear. I felt as if I was becoming a vegan lol I can't have red meat... Wow ... But she is the expert top 10 BB in the world I just couldn't tell this woman she was crazy hahhah... So it was rough start I felt myself dying but my body was confused as hell no bread past sugar little salt and sweets crazy as hell! It was painful but I kept going and it was a trial for a month no commitment to competing and we tried it..... First two weeks 3 lbs gone and .... Ummm so bout what I said earlier what had happened was lol... She knows what she is doing dun dun dunnnnn... So met the other ladies who already been in the program awhile they looked real good but exhausted and I'm thinking wow they look amazing but they look exhausted ... So I just observed I was 16 weeks no biggie.... Then they had to wear their bathing suits...what I don't get it why do I need to do that... Of course insecurity talking anywa I looked at these ladies further in their journey and felt inspired they are both marines and women bust their asses way more than me being in the air force and still manage to make a Change to their life it is amazing.... So I committed but still wasn't getting full issue going on.. I found myself frustrated a lot because I felt like an outsider mne I couldn't get the workouts perfected.... Well get the right muscle engaged that is so Zoa kept talking about this lady name Annie Peguero said she was awesome and highly recommended her. I was like well let's see what this lady is all about... At the time she just started her personal training gig and was a competitor herself...first day we worked out sore as shit... And every day since then she pushes me and pushes me....I hope she is reading this because I can't say thank you enough... Always supportive caring I consider u a close friend and this journey has been amazing ... So I will post more later but I want to thank god more today for blessing me to be Alive breathing another year, for my wonderful family friends, my husband/soulmate who always in the back of mind more than ever nothing has been easy but u do so much to make it less painful.. My coach/trainer/friends Zoa and Anne, if you are reading this I couldn't have been here without y'all and I dayum near gonna cry saying this shit but change isn't easy for anybody I have felt frustrations and will feel more but you guys are both straight forward people and have genuine caring for your clients and treat us as family.... This relationship is going to another level and I don't care what side of the world I'm in this is it y'all are in my life period.... Not in a creepy way lol but I look forward to developing my abilities becoming and growing into a better fulfilled being and having a lifetime of happiness in this experience ... Competing till my hip breaks I dunno! I love y'all both know that.... I plan on getting my tan on today nothing fancy may go to chilli's and have them sing the birthday song just for fun anything goes! Just happy to be in this life in this body... Just me.. Drea Disclaimer spelling is terrible I am typing on a freaking IPad with dayum autocorrect so don't judge me ! Lol

Finally came up for air..... At 730pm!!

Ummm so today pretty eventful.... I am a shoe addict and have been "clean" for months until today... Nine West outlet broke me literally I spent 3 hrs in the store no food no bathroom just trying on and looking and browsing I take it serious and I came out pretty good today so along with this bcbg dress I got today,nine west they had these amazing shoes with matching bag same material I was so weak fell apart y'all have look see hawt to def! And I am wearing this when my husband gets back from deployment hopefully it's not too hot but if u listen to beyonce this is the "freakum dress" so excited! Anyway so I admit diet has been crappy I couldn't prepare much since I took short notice trip and could only take one bag with carry on but still working out minimum with my vitamins just need to jump on track another lesson from this in being prepared but there is a commissary and I have a microwave so not complete fail... Pre cut cooked chicken, tuna , microwave rice, microwave grits. Protein shake... And gallon jug water it's not a total loss just adaptive to the environment will not make an excuse when resources exist around me....wore my bathing suit today and looked good abs are there need tightening and the ass is still a work in progress scuse my French but I have to work extra hard tommorow work legs.... Should be a good day .. Still assessing damage from shopping but I also got some Sun to my body and started reading a good book "act like a lady think like a man" not done but it is an eye opener recommend reading it before u watch the movie if at all but when I read this and think about my husband it makes sense now! Gained perspective most definitely... Also got another good book Joyce Meyers "how to Learn to forgive...." let y'all know bout that one oh... Pics of the fab shoes and the makeup I acquired ..... I am having a blast thus far! Disclaimer so guess I will keep y'all in suspense since IPad won't let me post this pic booo...

Guam Vacay!

Guam! Wow here I am on the plane, not even touched done yet but blown away by the breathtaking experience of this island I have never been.... I am solo and feeling much like a free spirit , I'm excited just to get there.... The view is beautiful from high altitude and all I can think is how badly I need sun and how I refuse to stay in my room except for sleep and showering! I am taking full advantage not to mention acquiring some of my favorite makeup along the way some Chanel,Dior, Bobbi Brown it was like a kid in a candi store.. Put this in perspective I live on Okinawa Japan and these items can't be found so after 2 years getting s chance to splurge...very excited! The only different experience so far is being in training/vacation mode always in the back of my mind thinking about what I'm going to eat where I'm going to get it and the fact that at airport security they thought I was a terrorist or drug dealer because of all the bags of supplement I had, with my scale and vitamins ... I guess some people go to jail for worse? Lol... Anyway I'm excited to run on the beach in while getting cardio again, lifting weights with the oceanview in front and of course shopping till my blood pressure has hit the roof... So far on track got some good makeup thus far and plan on having a nice stay on base and go off base to explore.... I always see it on tv about folks going places they never been out the blue but it's a first for me.... I literally bought my ticket yesterday...hotel is nice ocean view only issue is that it is in the middle of nowhere so got the rental and do some exploring tommorow but I'm exhausted as hell and got to hit the grocery store to make sure my diet still on track.... Yikes! More to come....

Focus on less self doubt and more confidence....

Based on my experience thus far, it seems that the key to success in this sport is to have less self doubt and more confidence...when i say that I mean, building yourself up, BELIEVING YOU CAN DO IT!, Pushing through no matter how shitty you feel that day, and toughing up when you feel like you cant take it no more... with confidence comes strength, self esteem, motivation and with self doubt potentially comes trouble and taking steps back...potentially putting you right back where you started... not only in this sport but in your life.. this weekend Saturday I turn 27 and I been spending time reflecting on where I am in my life versus the previous years and I can say I am confident, I love the way I look, the way I feel....and in turn alot of others things fall into place with marriage, relationships, friendships..etc... not realizing that this change has brought on many other positives which is amazing to me... today I wore a nice outfit today, it was hot today, nice summer day and previous I wouldnt wear it..still tag on, nice halter top and shorts very tasteful however because of the self doubt and the way I viewed my body which at the time I had a pooch... and kind of disproportioned which bothered me to the extremed  but today I can say that I rocked the hell out of it...like I "owned" this.... and not in a stuck up way but in a confident of the way I look and the way I feel, it felt good and its almost like people feel that energy from you and recognize it...even strangers, because it isnt the norm, most folks kind of go with the flow, or if they are having a terrible day it shows...and it doesnt take away from them but why not take that energy and build on it... build it to where you can keep it moving... you would be amazed how differnt situations could be based on your reaction, now I definintely cant say that tommorow I will be doing this but I promised myself I would take baby steps and situations to where I wouldnt let it bother me... or at least not hold on to it forever...for what??? Its all a learning process.... and you would be suprised how people feed off of you....

few thoughts for yall....

Weight vs. BMI vs Measurements....does it matter??

So bouncing back from "hellacious" week last week and now back to my "philisophical way of thinking.... or directness sometimes I guess...
Anyway got to thinking about something....so here I am 6 weeks going on 7 down 12 lbs so far...feel amazing, it seems like when i am losing weight I feel it come off and it shows when I weigh on the scale.... the funny thing is...some "folks" who are trainers/fitness experts I guess say that doesnt matter...yes I know that I should listen to my trainer which I do and always put her first in my mind.... however I cant help but be curious as to why people feel weight isnt important in factoring your success...yes some need it for motivation or the sake of numbers, calculating calories or whatever...but the reality is weight is a big deal at this point because you are busting your ass regardless to look sexy and if you weight 200lbs and "appear" to be less and are in shape then so be it...but I guess now that I am doing this people want to "share" knowledge of their fitness "experience" granted some are gym rats...but experts... ehhh... who knows but I guess curiousity jumped on me..wouldnt let go... or maybe its not put in the right perspective to me....

what differentiates weight from bmi?....what makes one less important than the other...or are they equal...just some thoughts...

either way i feel freakin awesome and saturday I turn 27 and feel in the best shape of my life ever!

The "evil" has left the building!!!!......

wow, after venting and working out full throttle for the first time in a week, it felt so good! I felt all the anger and agression just leave my body literally.... wooooo....and I dug deep for it too! I really am working on getting my abs in to play so I gave it all I had today without over doing it... and 45 mins on the treadmill tends to be boring as hell..may need to bring the IPAD...other than that...its Sunday ..all meals are ready to goooooo.... and im in jammies bout to crawl into bed with the IPAD and heating pad...while watching house of payne.... only missing my better half at this point... :(

oh and aunt flow has departed the premises as welll....phewwww :)

Fresh Start from a "Disasterous" week....

Hey yall,

feels like forever since I been in here writing but it has only been a week ish maybe....anyway this week has been interesting for me...and I almost feel at my worst...

So I was working mandatory 12 hrs this past week, which fine no biggie but it was the first time since I had started training...not realizing the toll it would take on my body... So Monday I did my cardio, had to wake a 0345 in the morning just to get my body ready and all that stuff as normal, which fine I got rest the night before I was good felt good...got it in and then came home to report for work around 6ish.... to put icing on the cake my trainer couldnt work out for personal reasons, which made me a bit sad but I am understanding.... didnt want her there but not there.. so I kept it moving and I had my other "coach"/ standby workout partner who is awesome, former competitior her self so she was there to push me which is awesome, and I also started my cardio in the afternoon which no biggie still..I come home make meals barley half alive and then i pass out instant... this is first strike...

Next day Tuesday, same thing 0345, no big deal and then 12 hrs working, workout with my partner DJ and good to go..got my cardio in... a good day thus far.....not understanding my body was screaming "help!" as in this is freaking exhausting and I need sleep!

Wednsday.....I was so tired, at 0345 I looked at my clock and put my head back down...like no sh!t I couldnt get out of the bed my body was just like "hell to the naw, we cant do this shit..." and it goes down hill from there...still preparing my meals so no failure there...get there we gotta put on hot ass gear oh by the way I live on an island and this the month where humidity is a b!tch... so we had bout 5lbs of gear on running around... ok fine, no cardio but I sweat my ass off that day anyway... so later in the day get to going to the gym, but I wind up having to stay 2 hrs past my off time... turning into what already would be 14 hr day really I was up earlier so going on 18 hrs awake...so i drove home, made meals, at least, I was pretty consistent there...passed out again No workout...

Thursday, cant get out of bed either, literally slept until the last possible minute.. before I put my uniform and gear on ready to go again! YES!....so I get there hit the ground running, hot tired, bitchy...you name it...and because we all had been around each other by day 4 it was like get away from me.... so barley got to eat my meals in the time supposed to...and my stomach was screaming help me! so tried to do what I had to....so had a meltdown, now mind you since I been dieting my office has had cake, sweets bout every dayum week and they always feel the need to say well " well we know you can eat it..." dont remind me! So normally I shake it off....so they ordered pizzas for everybody and I was the only person "left out" so had a meltdown, went in the back cried....bout felt like I wanted to chuck my lunch dish at the dayum wall...but I restrained....and I told my friend Melanie that I wanted to "quit dieting" ....wow and all i could think was this folks pushed me so much to the point I wanted to quit??? really??? ... and she brought me back and said, you chose this life, you have a goal, you are doing it and stick with it....i wont let you quit..... and all i could think is wow.... what a friend! I really did appreciate that...and after the pep talk I got it together and kept it moving....now granted I didnt work out...just not in it..and to risk injury from exhaustion..not worth it! So go home crash again..... Strike 2


So Friday is strike 3, dayum near the finsh line for all this craziness...wake up get into work putting all the shit on again.... and finally it ends....so i was at least able to get my hair braided again which took 40 days and 40 nights it seemed but one less thing to worry about... so after they let me off early and I got my hair done...went home... now mind you my husband still deployed and supposed to get back June 8 possibly is on edge as well....and since he has zero knowledge with dieting and all that, he doesnt really understand the emotions behind all this.... so i was venting and he was already in a pissy mood since its hot as hell where he is at and he is a grown man living with another man in a small room and no power across the base...just a bad situation, so we argued, mainly because after 6 months of being gone, and we have no kids so only thing we do is talk about how much we miss each other and how life sucks more because we are not together etc.. etc... so bit his head off , hung up on him...he called me back...I cried again, because I missed him and because shit just didnt go right, i felt horrible because I didnt train but when it rains it pours you know???

Saturday Posing Practice with my coach, head was kind of in it...I just wanted sleep but I value time I get with her so I got up went there...and she told me just rest and start fresh next week... and she admitted to having a bad week too which Im naive so I was thinking after you become Pro you dont have any issues right...yea ok... but it made me think....this woman does so many things for others..even when she is ready to knock somebody the hell out and sometimes she has bad weeks and just keeps going... life goes on...


So here I am Sunday...in Okinawa Japan, Sat for other folks....I woke up today did my cardio....woohoo! felt so good, felt like a long time coming and I plan on hitting the weights solo...which I dont mind, my coaches have taught me self motivation and digging deep which after this week should be no issue..

Sorry to ramble but I guess I feel close to yall and wanted to share....but I did learn from this experience, with every new start or goal whatever is "growing pains". You dont learn the poses overnight, training, patience, dieting.... its a balance and I am sure alot of the pro's or more experienced can say they still have their good days and bad days.....the key is to take it with grain of salt and not take steps back in your progress...only continue to move forward...I am pretty sure when this happens again and I say when because there will be bad days and good days and I will let yall know! In the mean time.... today I did my training cleaning eating...lots of relaxation and just chilling...

Good news is that my trainer should be back in the seat tommorow which I want to pick her up and hug her...when i see her... and that my birthday is on saturday and I am taking a trip to Guam and Korea for some shopping holla!!! much needed vacay...and of course i will train there as well...no slacking off you know! but with the bad comes good right!


Anyway think thats good for today, thank yall for listening!

Ugh...

just letting yall know, still here barely alive but 2 days in of 12 hr shifts at the job and with the weights  and cardio twice a day.still! #beastmode... call me crazy yes...not sure if I will make it in the morning but I will do my best and listen to my body.....my thoughts feel extremely delayed...time for bed!

12 weeks out dun dun dunnnnnnn.....

So I said 14 weeks in previous post but it has actually  twelve...days is just running together I promise....but I want to attribute this post and say I survived!

It is so rewarding, that as much as I felt  desire to do things, this tops all and I am sticking with it and I am going to continue on because my heart is in this... I am very proud of myself ...
I am very excited for more challenges ahead..more frustration, anxiety....

HUNGER!

and you know what not turned off the least bit.....

I did practice on stage, a real stage for the first time this morning and it just got real...I did good for what I was dealt with but it is so easy for your nerves to take over, and you to lose EVERYTHING you worked hard to get... not lose but forget.... and there is no re doing all that again! So I am training my body more, to remember when I am inside my head trying to get it together because it is VITAL that I be 200% if not more that day...or at least pretend...

but it was still exciting just to be a part of it! I look forward to the next phase of this journey I am on!

I will say this week is challenging due to my hours changing but I am going to make it work and sleep like a baby if I have to...

More Inspiration...

I have been frequenting the Siouxcountry website which I think is awesome but..what is more awesome is the professionals on their...who post great advise, information etc....today I saw this and just had to share.... courtesy of Fitbody (username) ,


“ YOU must cease attributing YOUR problems to YOUR environment,
and learn again to exercise YOUR will – YOUR personal responsibility.”

WE ARE WHAT WE EAT PERIOD…..
EAT GOOD, FEEL GOOD, LOOK GOOD, BE HEALTHY….
EAT BAD, FEEL BAD, LOOK BAD & BE UNHEALTHY…
its all a matter of CHOICE….

You choose your own path, your body, your health, your happiness, your destiny…
it’s a matter of PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY….
Of course its easier to BLAME SOMEONE OR SOMETHING ELSE…
but you are just dancing around the truth,
you can put your head in the sand all you want,
blame, avoid, deny all you want…
but that WILL NOT CHANGE THE TRUTH !

Leg day!!!

Ok so i havent been posting about my workouts because i havent had the energy but today was BRUTAL!...i feel like im walking on dayum twigs....

So here is what we did today


Leg extensions for warm up
Not sure of the reps I didnt write it down
But got up to 120lbs

Wide Smith Machine Squat

100lb, drop set...

2 leg press

120Lb x 4 set

1 leg barbarian squat

46lb (this is fairly new for me) but this hurt me deep!

grand finale

leg extensions again

max up to 140lbs


I am tired as hell.... and my legs hate me so much..

I was getting ready for bed and I just got called in back to work...FML...

and I live 20 mins from base yikes..

It is definitely hump wednsday!

Finding Motivation...

Its interesting finding motivation in all this, no idea where it came from but it is there and alive! I can only continue to feel so go when I finish that last set, I get a good nights rest, lose some weight, finsh a fast run ......

not really anything inspiring in this blog, but just hoping that people find motivation in what makes them happy... sometimes we settle for what we think we want when what we really want is elsewhere. and sometimes we look to find reasons to fail at what does make us HAPPY...i dont get it...why not stick it out.... it gets tuff...dayum tuff but the REWARDS are priceless.... I am excited for this sport and whats in store for me but I am more excited for the progression I make as a person...with family..my health, raising kids whenver i have them...being more spiritual...

well today was a shoulders day so typing is definitely not enjoyable......time to get some ZZZ's

Extremely Random......

SO....today was awesome..got a chance to be located at a gym closer to my house..thank goodnes...man I have to drive to BFE at the other gym but its amazing how a shorter distance can motivate you more because there is less time to drive and be stressed about wanting to get home and put your freaking house shoes on and heating pad and just breathe...

anyway i am starting to feel like the strongest little person alive I promise.... I am 4'11 3/4 and I am lifting almost as much as I weigh..

today my trainer put the 45lb each dumbells for deadlifiting and I just knew I couldnt do it but I did it! So proud of myself...

Not to mention I am a freaking Itunes Junkie today for alot of old school $40 in 10 minutes......I find myself buying some Boyz to Men Songs, a little this and that...some Bell Biv Devoe...Posion..Yikes..feelin in the Mood I guess..

I know this is a training journal, however listening to this song here..got me going...

Poisonnnnnnnnnnn lol...

Continue to Stay Inspired Everyone!

Mondaysss...ahhh!!!

What is it about this day that makes you want to say no to any and everything...no matter what...just this laziness that overcomes you....Im bout to go workout but I really really...dont want to do it...

*sigh* off  I go....

Ms Olympia..... had to post this

This is so powerful to me..... such a courageous woman...8 time Ms Olympia....this really motivates me more today! She still looks so amazing on so many levels.....Continue to be inspired!

Posing Practice......

So pumped today, had posing practice this morning...it looked awesome except for the constant "squeezing " of the muscles and breathing hence this "action" photo of breathing ...definitely need to work on that....but either way it reafirmmed why i choose this life....Bodybuilding is so awesome!

Progress Update.....Week 5

Ok so i been tired as heck lately....and really aint felt like posting here but after looking at my body today I felt it was time for updates to progress.....

So here I am 141 today....and it looks like some trapz are trying to shine through as well i hope or it could be all in my mind lol....either way i feel like I definitely gave the back, ab and bicep workouts a run for their money.....check it out! Just in my regular bathing suit...no posing suit yet...

Have a Support System!!

So I am trying to get the lessons learned based on this experience so when i get to be past "amateur" i can read this and take these experiences and use them as a stepping stone...

So a little about me...I am in the AF, been in for 9 years as a financial technician and enjoy every bit of experience i get from this, I am proud to do this and never thought in years that i would be still doing it but I am happy and so excited for the places I travel, the people i meet and the career progression I make....

 I am married to a wonderful man named Jordon who i feel blessed to have in my life all the time, he is military as well and right now we are going into our 3rd year of marriage....now picture this military life...we have been married for almost 3 years in the same room for 1 year and the rest has been seperated due to assignment and right now he is deployed elsewhere for the past 6 months....heavy stuff huh... BUT...regardless we both know this is part of the lifestyle and therefore endure it....So here i am ... almost 5 months in....Hubby gets back in 30 days and I am ecstatic to show him this new journey i have been on!....the funny thing is when I told him, he was excited, happy even.... and I hadnt even started dieting yet! amazing stuff............but now all i can think about is pushing myself harder so He can be proud of me too! I dont think he has any idea how much this means to me....but regardless he is very supportive!

 I  titled this entry support system because there is nothing in this life and time where a person doesnt need someone to just let it all out too...friends, family, husband...TRAINER! ......someone to tell you things are going to get better because NOONE succeeds just by themselves....I dont care what anyone says....SUCCESS always is a team effort and there is always someone behind the scenes pushing you that extra mile.... and I greatly appreciate the support I am getting...its amazing how many people are for you when you decide to make a lifechange...and I can do nothing but appreciate them....My husband, friends, family.....complete strangers (and I say strangers) because people reading this blog too are supporters and I thank you.. I can only hope to inspire, push that extra mile so success can be shared with all....

Do what you need to do to succeed but make sure you acknowledge that it wasnt a solo act....

99.9 % Positive Thinking....

Well here i am into my 4th week of this, and have very mixed emotions..... all the part of growing pains with any unfamiliar area...there are some frustrations, anger, sad, happiness....excited every trait you can think i have felt thus far.... now what is allowing me to stand my ground...POSITIVE THINKING...

Now i know i sound like a broken record or something cheesy but every action from a human being is triggered through some emotion, whether it be pride or happiness but either way... your mind is the center of all that is either really really AWESOME...or something that really sucks...

Bodybuilding is what is driving me to go through these things but positive thinking is what is keeping me here... I dont say 100% Positive because nothing is perfect and there will be days when you are going say " SCREW THIS" but you remind yourself why you are here....what brought you here and what you want out of this...

As much as waking up at 4am seems painful or doing the extra cardio after an hr of weight lifting..it all seems tedious...but I WANT THIS.... and now i need to put focus into my training..because every day i half do it...or "dont want to" its everyday that I lose from not wanting to....but I WANT THIS...and I want to make my trainers proud because they are  my support system....where would i be without them.

You know what positive thinking gets you 138lbs on leg extensions..... or almost 200lbs hack squat...ask me to lift it last  year....NO THANK YOU....but in 4 weeks i did that...

So taking it one step at a time, head up....Rome wasnt built in a day...and I need to keep this to the front of my mind...