Friday, July 13, 2012

Yeah UHHHHHH....

I just feel bleh today and working out feels completely like I am turned off by it...I went to bed early (like 10 if that is early) last night and set alarm since I stared eating late for my last meal...dayum near burnt the house down cooking cuz I went into deep sleep mode but all is well...up early again not feeling refreshed at all but got a long day ahead with practice and workouts.... trying to dig but the "well" feels like it is running dry.... I dont wanna take another dayum pill or drink more supplements ...or cook more chicken ...I dont want to explain to anyone else why i do this or how i do this I just want to crawl in the corner...or go somewhere with no people around because I been feeling like I cant get any time to myself period...


Feeling lighter this morning, my scale is broken so i have nothing to go on right now, going to hit the store and get a better digital one...since they had a"strike" there yesterday and they closed everything on base related to this company...

Feeling like this I been trying to NOT get myself into trouble at work with my attitude and being moody....but I cant help it...just picking the wrong days to be asking questions but I restrain.because I love the AF and my career and the ppl i workwith and I also enjoy getting PAID alot more! My Mentor talked me "off the ledge" so to speak...she is so awesome..her name is Melisa....just very sweet mother/sisterish and she knows me at work better than anybody so she didnt have a pity party she basically told me I got 2 weeks to pull out the best and then I can enjoy the "fruits of my labor"...nice to have support because its so easy to have a pity party... and not move forward with the goal...

I am SO CLOSE...like 3 weeks from this shyt and it just feels harder and harder...and mentally I am trying to pull myself together and focus...

but HELL.....i just I dont know...hope i dont sound crazy but I vent here because yall understand...

Say it with me..... DREA YOU NEED TO SEE THIS THING THROUGH, YOU WILL SEE THIS THING THROUGH AND GIVE IT YOUR BEST EVERYTHANG (YES THANG) YOU GOT... AND JUST A BIT MORE....NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU FEEL LIKE GIVING UP....

alright back to the GYM!

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