One thing I am learning is that we always have room to improve....meeting a goal does not necessarily mean you are an "expert" it means you have personal gratification in whatever you set to achieve...there are times when I have to remind myself that I am not a professional, i have only been doing this about four months and I have not reached the maximum of my capabilites.....
For example....i get so frustrated when I am exhausted and cant lift the weight....like I go down to 5 lb DB, i feel like I shouldnt have to do that...but what difference does it make really? I dunno....not a whole lot but I critique myself alot more... but critique only brings on self doubt...pity....anger whatever...and since this is the week of the show this Sunday, there really is no time for any of that BS.... but I just was thinking about this today.... pushing myself to the limit and sometimes not being able to or thinking I am not able too deters me from what I came to do...
It is part of the growing process, cant say I dont strive to perfection... but it makes things alot harder when you are harder on yourself then anybody else...
thats my speel.......I am so tired...throughout the day I just hit walls and feel like laying in a corner and sleeping....Im going to try to make it an early night we shall see....
Weigh 128 today, feeling like a feather and shit....and probably will go down farther...GAH.... i feel so small...really small...like tinkerbell small...
Decided I am rocking a short wig for the show so easy, the long hair was too much I just got irritated by...we shall see how it goes but in the meantime, I will write again tommorow...
Cant wait to have some mcdonalds fries and some cheesecake...baby jesus so close
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