Well....

Wow I really enjoy blogging when I get to sit down and do it but lately its been on the fly...anyway enough small talk... its getting to the end of the month and Feb 1 is tomorrow! This month has been flying! I came back from Australia slow to start and back into my fitness thing. Lately I have been tired, feeling at the end of the day I am going for my 3rd win. I am trying to balance so many things right now... Work, diets, workouts (cardio and strength), the hubby, school work, fun for me to stay motivated, volunteer work... I feel like Superwoman but without any sleep! LOL... and I know the difference between when I get sleep and when I don't...I am a morning person when I am rested and a Beech when I am not lol.. and most of my co workers know it... sorry in advance and when I am hungry watch out now! I am trying to get all my workouts done through out the day so hubby can have time in the evening.. this will be his first time with me from Day 1 and I don't want this to turn into me vs him. He has expressed he needs his time with me so that is what he is going to get! I also need to learn when I have to re shuffle my schedule... I swear I inhale my food most of the time just to get the nutrition in and when I think about cheat foods man they are on my brain..i had a dream about pizza lol... that's what I dream about hahaha.. So here is where I am at...

Training- Great 90% of the time, last night I did shoulders/calves and didn't feel like it was as killer as it normally is but it was because I tried evening workouts and only cardio is good for evenings, first thing in the morning strength training at Tori is good since its empty and I know the machines... most of my logbook is from those machines..
I got a new weight belt too, pretty pink Love it! ... I look like a midget powerlifter lol... its fun and I am ordering some dana bailey shirts and Traci S apparel stuff . I freakin love buying workout clothes, I went from shoe addict to workout clothes addict... so when I get paid tonight I will be on line hahhaa..

Diet- Good, I crave freakin brownies and pizza and all the stuff I cant have...but I will kill a rice cake in a heart beat with some almond butter...no joke lol

This weekend is posing practice! Yay! and hubby will be golfing so I will get quiet to do my homework and chill out after spin class of course..
I got frustrated this week because of so many misconceptions of female BB and how people are more "disgusted" by them then admiring them. I just can't wrap my head around it... I always tell folks what I do and I get the "oh I can't do that" or "that's too much muscle" ....its strong, its empowering, its an art and unfortunately its one of those things only people who do it understand... I love it though..

Ok brain is shutting down. I am going to call this it lol..need to eat...

Approaching 17 weeks to go....

It is the close of the week, well tomorrow Japan time, it will be Friday...this week has been rough and only because everyday i am challenging my body to wake up, lift weight and do cardio, work 8-10 hrs and come home to spend time with hubby, on top of taking a class and whatever else comes to mind... but I am surviving.. As of Wed I am 133.6, feel pretty good, and hope to see decrease this week but the scale is what it is... I am looking at myself on the outside and going by what i see, my observation is that upper body will not be an issue..last year i developed pretty well with upper body, lower body is what needs work...calves and those quads that hold most of the body fat...and my glutes, genetically my lower body has the most fat but I can push a good amount of weight... last year I managed to hit a max pr of 800+ lbs on the leg press, with my trainer. This time I'm solo but so far i have been good with the mental push but legs i get paranoid. I don't wanna injure myself and i don't want to exhaust myself, the good thing is time is on my side and i can slowly develop my quads slow and healthy...tomorrow is leg day and i am squatting it out, so excited! Hurt so good!

Diet is on point, eating clean all week, ready for a my treat meal! Got a special rice cake from my supervisors wife who is a baker extraordinaire, it made me feel really good... posing practice with some of the girls and Zoa tomorrow then to the cherry blossom festival on sat with the girls should be   fun

keep yall posted on leg day! train hard people!

Today is awesome!

woke up this morning feeling not so good for a bit until I ate something and had my supergreens...hubby woke up saying the niners won and I was ready to choke him out lol...but anyway motivated him to come out and work out , not together as I am in my own zone but he was doing his thing and I was doing mine. I destroyed it...blocked out the people that dont matter, focused on what I had to do...which was back and bi's. Clearly destruction is completed, made this photo with IG collage, love playing with the lighting and stuff... but I sent this to Zoa and she was happy! SO I am happy... it is first part of the day, of course cardio later but in the meantime I am happy with back workout...

Check it out...

Only I can be my worst enemy.....

So yesterdays post frustrated me ALOT more than a bit, it really got UNDERNEATH my skin to the point where I had that shit on my mind all day...now of course doesnt help my emotions are  multiplied by 1,000 cuz of my Time of the month but just the fact that seeing those numbers almost made me well no I did question my hardwork.... I almost questioned going to Austrailia and why I did it!?? WTH??? So you clearly see it was  self destructive criticism a bit. None of this I shared with husband which he already thinks I am completely nuts this week as every month I am this way but less neurotic lol ... but I think with the return to dieting AND Aunt Flow it just backs him into a corner lol... so I leave him alone a bit....so I had some time to think... and the conclusion I came to is this...

- The only person that can keep me from being successful is me

Not that I will fail but if I decide to feed into the negativity I fight so hard to stay from it could become self destructive and instead of positive patty I become Negative Nancy ( I dont care for those kind of people!). Its not punishment type of deal but it is contagious....I gained weight fine...does it matter how? Not really at this point because I do know how to get this shit off, I do have someone ZOA to freakin help me out or is helping me out, and I have conquered this beast before. It doesnt take back the show and the hard work, the emotional ride for the past few months prior and it doesnt change me as a person well it does but it makes me better. I looked at my body constantly all day trying to "look" for this extra weight but for what.....make myself crazy and shit it just doesnt make sense....It is a start of this process for this show that I wanna look better than I was last year and truthfully I already do in the aspect of my way of thinking... last year I just wanted to get their..this year I just want to give it my FREAKIN all...

Zoa is not upset which I know when and if she would get upset I would know it (and honestly I dont think she would because she is that kind of person, its not about scolding its about showing the direction to go in...)... so now it is only my mind and emotions playing with me...

I write this to myself as I am sure I may get to this point again and if I need to read it so be it..but I can be my worst enemy but I refuse to get sucked in... I am better than that, can be better , will be better .... and I will just leave it at that....

Frustrated a bit.....

Hey yall,

so my coach wanted to do starting weight today Sat, I havent weighed myself since before I left vacation to which even almost a month ago because I stopped holding myself "prisoner" to it and just went on to be happy with it I was at 132 a month ago...anyway here it is on record

Starting weight: 139

Off Season Weight 132

Goal Weight: whatever I can get to , 115ish


I am on my period which may play a role in my frustration and being a little bloated but my reaction is always gotta go do something RIGHT NOW..5AM uhh no DREA! lol.... thats what the oher voice says...so this is what I am going to do....just using this frustration, not gonna kill myself, just gonna put it into the workout and challenge myself ....I also am going to work on different forms of cardio because I tend to get bored easy and not wanna do it....CARDIO is just not fun for me unless Im sprinting or something but after work just havent been in the mood reallly..but regardless of the mood, my mindset needs to be "get er done".... starting to feel an expectation rising to the next level , and even tho my coach never puts pressure on me, I do it for her lol...I want to make her proud of me...and do my best...just need to get over this hump right here..

I always have the fear of gaining all the weight I lost back but it needs to be out of sight out of mind because I am better than this right? Right...

I just hated seeing that number this morning.... le sigh....


In other news hitting legs today for the first time in 2-3 weeks so its something interesting....but ready to feel something in that area..take all this frustration and put it into the squat machine RAWR!

Putting things back in Perspective!

So the Goals I set in August here is where I am at with it-



1. Maintain more Positive Thinking/Energy Spiritually and Mentally

-I am getting there, I am a morning person these days which is unheard of lol! I am learning to embrace my "enemies" and let things roll of my back vs hold onto things!



2. Marriage (only can get better, married 3 years together for 1..work in progress)

Still up and down, what can you do...there is more work to be done..commuication is getting there but ehhh..may take a bit lol...


3. Develop an independence as a woman/athlete (train harder, better for off season/next year)

YES! Definitely felt and see more gains, made coach proud and I plan to bring the pain this year for June and Aug show! No excuses! Train like my life depended on it!

4. Pay it forward (Inspire others how others inspired me, I have many role models not just in athletic capacity but women in particular etc...)

Developed a FB page for fitness motivation and lots of people say they like it, I have also had many women approach me on wanting to change their lives, so excited! I wanna do more, always room to improve!


5. Stay the course as much as possible ( with the positive thinking hope to be less of this, but I know me...so I want to keep moving forward and if i do set back then I just pick it up and let it roll off)

I have been moving forward and havent look back since! It feels great but I still make sure I remeber where I came from

6. Improve Leadership Capabilites (more in my job, i move up the ranks, i want to continue to be a better leader as more folks rely on me to do my job)

Still work but I find more confide in me, and have that respect mutually
7. Score 100 on my fitness test... ( what feels impossible to most ...and based on my appearance some assume it cant be done because I dont "appear to be a runner" and of course more the challenge for me)

got a 97 better than last but I still improved! next year go for the bext level!


8. Bachelors Degree (work in progress)

In an economics class right now so yes and yes!


9. Community Service( sort of like paying it forward but more paying it forward to any and everyone, I have done it in the past but want to get out more)

Neglected, i have yet to do this! I will work on it!

)10. Take a vacation. ( Planned one for Australia and just let go...feel free

Check!

As yall can see...

so just wanted to add

10. Being Fearless.

Getting Back into the Routine...

So few days after vacation, yesterday was first gym day back...it was great! Not sore ...yet but I felt back in it... I been feeling a bit tired lately, sort of dizzy in the past week and a little bit of neck pressure. I went to the doc yesterday and he gave me muscle relaxer but I somewhat feel like its anemia since I have had low iron before..but who knows? I am on my period so that doesnt help and I have been traveling alot, had a prescription change in my glasses within the last month or so. It is a compilation of things.. not pregnant definitely not, always the first question I get asked which most of the time its true for most women. Anyway hope to hear back things are ok and its just stress.. I am on my period  but not feeling as beechy as yesterday so I am able to  go work out. I got a new workout partner starting next week, one of my friends Kerry wants to start working out with me. We shall see how it goes, I hope to motivate her and help her put a fire of motivation to get things done we shall see
When I went to austrailia I bought a FITBOOK from the Goodlife Fitness Health CLub in the hotel. It has logs for food, workouts, your goals and truthfully I didnt write down anything since I been working out but I saw it and felt like I should. Barley remeber one day to the next as far as reps, weights whatever..and it even has something to write down for a reward so for this week I am going to buy some clothes from DLB's website FLAGNORFLAIL. I am sure most know her and the clothes, they are too cute and I love buying clothes that have cool saying...I especially like this one:

Here is the Fitbook:

Yesterday I hit arms it felt pretty good,  and saw Zoa there later training with a lady. I really want to make her proud of me and my family. I always look forward to praise from her and it makes me feel good like I am doing the right thing you know. So there is this guy there and I think he feels intimidated by me, he will like go workout and start like grunting loud as shyt and looking right at me while he is doing his thing..and I just started laughing...I put my weight on the leg press and started screaming like a banshee lol....he may have been weirded but its fun... no need to make it sound like you are mutating into a gremlin or something...hard work vs ignorance I guess...

So I am up this morning to hit chest and hammies...I go back to work tommorow BOO..but truthfully hubby needs alone time, we spend too much time together starts to get irritating lol...
oh btw here are more pics from Austrailia-

At the Opera House

on the boat

at the winery


Oh i forgot to add that I have Competition Couture making my posing suit! So excited its going to turn out great and Shawn clearly knows her shit! I cant wait!

Sydney Vacation Recap Pt 1

Hey yall,

Been a few days just got back last night...up early for no reason well to run at the gym but other than that and dont have to work so I figured I would write my little recap....

First I want to say this has been the best vacation ever..me and my husband truly needed this ...and I dont regret saving the money for this..totally worth every penny spent and we already talking about going to China...so shoot we are like in that "mode"...

So SYDNEY! So beautiful..I was more excited just to be going to a place I never been but more excited it was with the Aussies....

So we left last week and of course My hubby and I we DONT fly well together..we are "that couple" that argues over who holds the passports...who carries this..who takes the ipads..what we gonna eat???...seems like it shouldnt be so complicated...but when you combine exhaustion and the millions yea..millions of checks through security, ticket counters, PEOPLE ...and then some you get pretty heated so anyway we were having those issues but taking it in stride...I tried not to pack my whole front yard which was hard with my shoe collection but I managed to get one bag down when we thought we could only take 1 and a carry on..turn out 2 which worked to our favor...

So I am currently in prep right now and yes even on vacation I still do what I need to do but I will admit I did induldge, but I brough my lunchbox which got flagged through every security check we went through! Its just freakin rice cakes..well chicken got taken but I didnt know they were gonna do that..but the tuna oatmeal, grits and rice cakes I could keep along with the chocolate protein bars I froze and took with me...

here is the infamous lunchbox

I prolly was about 65% clean on vacation but I knew what was going to happen and no regrets!

We got through the airport and passed through Shanghai where we tried Dim Sum...not for me..but I tried it and hubby who was tired already had it as well...we didnt leave the airport to fly out until 1130 and we got their at like 5 so we were trying not to kill each other and keep busy since internet was not free....

Us on the plane from Shanghai...btw it was 32 degrees there when we got off the plane and wind chill some may say thats not bad but when you come from an Island...hell ..thats freezing your ass off no joke lol...

 

Peace out Okinawa!

 

 

Dim Sum- I asked for veggies in mine...not for me tho bleh...

Hubby happy to eat... :)

I had my rice cakes in Shanghai especially when the hungry monster came...i was good!




About 9-11 uncomfortable plane ride hrs later we arrive in Sydney..tired irritable..fighting through security and customs..they took my chicken I was mad but oh welll...and we are staying in the nicest hotel every.... The Westin Sydney..it was part of our travel package and it was beautiful as ever...granted we felt like we were honored guests, they treated us very well...

 

Our Flat Screen TV says hello...

 

 

view from the window..

 

Our bathroom


The room was amazing and we didnt go out too much the first day as we were tired as hell but the next day we hit the streets...

 

Kings Wharf

 

On the tour bus around sydney

So I am going to break this up into 2 since their are so many pictures well..I still have to upload the good shots so I will end right here...
Oh in other news start back training today and prolly end up getting a massage traveling makes you stiff...but 100% clean today...no excuses and definitely food shopping as we have nothing in the fridge right now!

 

Happy New Year !

Wk 22 almost ending and havent lost focus...vacation starts today

Hope you enjoyed new years!
It was exciting for me got to spend it with the hubs nothing special...anyhoo today I am flying to Austrailia! So excited... just beaming but of course I am gonna prepare an assload of the protein brownies and chicken and pack....but this morning going to the gym and hitting the weights...I drpped my dog off last night..kind of sad...but she is in good hands... I get frustrated at myself sometimes when I forget to prepare my food, but I eventually learned to take what you got and make it happen...I even went in our typhoon kit to grab tuna...granted we will replace it but I remeber last year I got so upset when I wasnt prepared so instead of getting frustrated even though I do out of hunger sometimes, ready to go HULK on folks lol...I find what I can and make it happen...now this vacation I am bringing some food and tasting some stuff I never had before..may hit the hotel gym once or twice but not gonna turn it into a "regular day" I am going to make it fun for hubby and me...I am so excited..our first travel together and not going home..just a vacation...I will tell yall about it later...

I got a call last night from one of my friends and she asked me to workout with her...she said I was the first person she thought of that is in the zone when it comes to working out..I cant wait to help her get her feet wet! This year while prepping, I am going to help as many as I can , no personal gain or money just pure time and energy and most of the energy will be from them busting their butt to get it....but enough about that... going to get 5 am workout in and try not to pack all my shoe collection in one bag!