Wow, well I made it, I met my goal, exceeded my expectations, I took to the next level. I beat myself in my own way but for the better… I am still on that high and low (tired, need water etc, had lots of sweets tummy hurt, etc etc) but for the most part I feel like I have accomplished what seemed unattainable. I felt like I didn’t give myself enough credit for what I accomplished so I am saying it here.. I finished strong, I built more CONFIDENCE in my abilities, I persevered and when shit was hitting the fan I stayed…I endured and built on the obstacles that tried to stand in my way.
Prejudging
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My Promotion Friday
All I could remember thinking on Sunday was that “I know this, I know the poses, I have done this before…I need to show people the work I have put in,..etc etc” I woke that morning feeling good, and maybe the difference between this year and last year is that I knew what to expect and that I could prepare myself ahead of time. I got my sleep, I listened to my coach I did ALL my cardio and ALL my lifting and drank ALL my water as my coach told me to do. I got my makeup done that morning and did my bronzing with my friend DJ, she has helped me 2nd year in a row with this so we knew the drill… the other girls were competing in figure and BB. I did BB and only that, I felt my passion was there..i loved it…I do love it. Backstage I enjoyed so much, most of the females were from Zoa’s coaching, we supported each other, we cheered each other on..and it was such a great experience. Everyone came into their own and developed and found themselves to be at a new point in their lives. You could see that they were happy to have made it as I was and that the evening show was just fun. I was in lightweight division this go, and it was 4 other ladies with me, all different looks body style..we all were under Zoa and worked hard.. I admit I felt like I wasn’t going to be any good but I kept saying in my mind “just show them the goods, give them all of you, if they want a lat spread give them leg abs whatever…it doesn’t hurt right?” so that’s what I did , we were out there for 9 min LOL…yes that felt like a really long time to me… and we did practice for long periods but the comparisons are always tuff..i went from the end towards the middle beside another lady. Zoa was in front talking to us at prejudging, I posed like my life depended on it..everything ached, felt tight but it was with confidence… I gave it everything I got… so after prejudging was done I went home to try to sleep. I just laid there…thinking about how I did… but it was done..whatever happened happened.. I went to the evening show and just had a good time…a lot of friends and family came..my hubby was there proud of me..I could hear him yelling at me “lock it in lock it in lol” and everyone else… results came 2nd place lightweight division, last year I was a heavyweight (126# and up against 2 other ladies)..i improved hella better than my last show….i know this and I have 0 regret… there is another show in August, the one I competed in last year but that is up in the air..lots of factors
I have to consider that my husband has been supporting me on this for 6 months and we are moving in Aug the month of the show to Hawaii… its feasible but is it worth it…the odds aren’t looking good..I am not going to worry so much right now until I know for sure , I will just enjoy the here and now and be with my husband and give him the time he wants and needs from me…if he deployed it would be different but I have to think if the tables were turned would I be so hasty to be ok with taking a backseat to the gym etc etc… I would say no…. but the acceptance part may be the tough thing for me… to step away and just lift not so much compete but just maintain the body I have been working hard for… and not to take a step back from what I have accomplished. I think sometimes humans forget the positive things that occur and want more, we never are truly satisfied, we always want more…I am satisfied but its always the what if’s, and how and maybe just maybe but I feel that it may be time for something different. In the meantime I am enjoying my victory, my success..my journey continues..
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